Sunday, January 15, 2006

Men: What Are Your Best Blowjob Tips?

I'm currently reviewing two different sex-themed books that both include tips on fellatio, and it brings up a question I'd like to get more widespread feedback on from the men out there. Mainly, what really makes for a great blowjob.

I was once listening to a sex chat show on the radio where a female called in and said she was worried that she wasn't giving her boyfriend a good enough blow job, and she wanted to know if there were hints she could look out for that would give away whether or not she was doing it well. The male host's advice to her was not to be concerned, because essentially all guys feel that if they're getting a blowjob at all, it's a great blowjob.

But I've always wondered if it's true. And I'm sure it's something that many straight women wonder about.

Being a non-penis-carrying member of the FCLU (Female Contingent of Lust Universal), I can pretty much get a mental sense of what most acts during sex must feel like for a man, except for what it must feel like to have a blowjob. This remains a big question mark for me, because I simply have no frame of reference, and never will. And though I've never had any complaints or requests for anything different from any of my male partners when I ask for feedback, I've always wondered if men are just afraid to tell a woman to change her technique. I suspect men might worry that any constructive criticism could lead to insecurity or resentment on the women's part and--horror!--that might mean the end of all blowjobs for the guy altogether.

Or, maybe, as the DJ said, men think any blowjob is great, so they're just simply satisfied that they're getting one and they don't care about making it SUPER great. But why shouldn't they care?

And anyway, I just plain find it hard to believe any blowjob is good. First of all, when I ask my male friends if the DJ's statement was true, every single one of them will first say yes. But then when questioned further, they will tell me some people are far better at it then others and they are ready to wax poetic about what makes the good ones good.

And further proof to me is that in reverse, there are definitely men that are better and worse at cunnilingus. I can't imagine every woman is naturally great at oral sex. And, just as I'm certain any slightly more clueless or intimidated man facing an expectant pussy is quite grateful for any gentle roadmap directions a woman can give him to help him navigate down there, women would probably be equally as happy to get gently helpful advice.

So, men of the blogosphere, now is the time for all good men to come to the aid of their cuntry. Help a sister out.

Please sound off about the best ways to suck you off. Share any secret--or not so secret--tips you wish more women knew about. Or IS any blowjob a good blowjob?

21 Comments:

Blogger Miss Syl said...

By the way, here's an interesting tip I read years ago in "Jane" magazine of all places. They had oral sex tips from a transsexual prostitute. S/he said that all men like deep throating, but often people find that difficult to do. But the REAL reason men like that is that they like the feeling of having the sensitive head of the penis hit something back there. So, she suggested that if women had trouble deep-throating that they position themselves so that the head of the penis would hit towards the back of the roof of their mouth, and the effect would be just as good, and the man none the wiser. I tested it out, and in my experiments, the advice seemed to work--the men liked it very much, and didn't seem to see any difference. But I'll let you men say for sure.

1/16/2006 1:08 AM  
Anonymous sidd harta said...

There are several...

First...eye contact...telling your guy that you want him to watch and then looking up at him while you worshipping his organ is extremely exciting.

Second, Less important to me is activity along the entire length of the cock...now that feels good but the real payoff for me is the head. Use your hands on the shaft and use your mouth on the head. In fact, use your mouth and your hand in unison.

Finally, a vibrating tongue on the underside of the head (the frenulum is the technical term) is the awesome. I suspect that it might feel just as good as a vibrating tongue working on a clitorus. I don't know for sure because I don't have a clit, but I do know that tongue action on the underside of the head is extremely pleasurable.

A very important warning...avoid serious contact with your teeth...gently nibbles maybe nice, but if in the course of vigorous exertions one engages the canine or another sharp edged tooth, all hope is lost.

If you have any additional questions...just ask.

1/16/2006 10:22 PM  
Anonymous Dante Hunter said...

Yeah, all the previously mentioned advice is pretty decent. But as you've probably figured out, it's not that difficult of a procedure, and even if you don't follow technique the job will get done to our satisfaction.

That said, here's my thoughts on the matter:

1) Eye contact is good; smiling is better. Feed the delusion that you're enjoying it as much as we are. Hey, if you're granting us the favor of a blowjob, why not go the extra yard?

2) Bondage/Blindfolding. Not only is it "mmmm", but I know I have the problem that if a girl just has her head in my lap, I'm a touch parinoid that I'm not doing anything for her and not holding up my end of the bargan. If I'm restrained from trying to stroke your hair or give you a backrub, I'll stay out of your way and we can both concentrate.

3) Patience. It's not a race, and we both know that if you really wanted to, the whole thing could be done in about 90 seconds. But if you take your time, start and stop and tease and torment, then it'll be all the more sweeter.

4) Heavy on the torment. Stop at that point where we're about to burst and then start licking our thighs instead. If you do it just right, we'll make death threats, profess our undying love, or maybe even cry. We may insist at the time this is a bad thing, but believe me, when it's over we won't forget it and won't have traded it for anything in the world. (Of course, should we involuntarily grab you tight by the back of the head you'll understand what the rope is for.)

--Dante

1/16/2006 10:27 PM  
Blogger Miss Syl said...

Thanks, Sidd. Are you a actually a really-truly fluffer? Or is that just your internet persona?

I'm curious what you mean by "vibrating toungue." Are you suggesting just moving it very fast (like flicking it around), or actually making it vibrate, by humming or some other method?

Dante: excellent advice. There's nothing like torment to raise the bar. Hopefully, you're getting some lovely torment wherever you are tonight. (And by the way, "I'll stay out of your way and we can both concentrate" made me laugh right out loud. Well done.)

And there must be others with an opinion. Please keep 'em coming, gentlemen.

1/16/2006 10:38 PM  
Anonymous flyboywoody said...

Great comments all. For me, the most important sex organ is between my ears. Thats why eye contact is so important. Even more important is for the woman to truly LOVE what she is doing. Any sense of duty or obligation will be perceived and is an instant turn off. A true desire to please can make up for less than perfect technique. I really enjoy some dirty talk too. In the same way I love to tell a woman how good she tastes when I pleasure her I love to hear how much my partner loves playing with my cock. Hope this helps...

1/18/2006 4:35 PM  
Blogger Dee's Husband Joe said...

The three most important factors for me are suction, suction, and - SUCTION! Did I mention that I like suction? Doesn't matter if it's fast or slow, deep or shallow, as long as there's that serious vacuum!

Joe

1/18/2006 10:57 PM  
Blogger Miss Syl said...

Oh dear, great comments, but...now how is she going to accomplish both serious suction AND dirty talk at the same time? ;-)

You men are certainly hard to please (ahem, yes, bad pun)!

Any more advice from the e-waves? Keep on sharing...

1/19/2006 1:08 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

The most important thing is the feeling that the woman giving the blowjob is getting off on it. This doesn't have to involve lots of moaning and whimpering, though the best blowjobs I've had did include some noises seeming to indicate that two people, not just one, were getting plenty of pleasure out of the whole deal. That's a huge turn-on. And, of course, swallowing. I gather not every guy really cares, but I can't really understand that; when somebody swallows and you get the feeling that it's because she got off on it, it's an incredibly exciting thing.

1/21/2006 10:14 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

I'm sure every guy has his own preferences, but the above suggestions are all good. One thing I haven't seen mentioned is LUBRICATION. Lots of saliva as there's nothing worse than a dry hummer. You don't have to flood the bed, but wetness is important to eliminate painful friction, plus it's sexy. Some saliva and pleasing moans and you're on the right track!

1/24/2006 12:43 PM  
Anonymous Chris said...

http://sexeteria.blogspot.com/2006/01/men-what-are-your-best-blowjob-tips.html

1/24/2006 3:57 PM  
Anonymous Chris said...

The key thing I'm picking up here is that "good" blowjob techniques are personal. Some of the tips here are things I love, others I don't care at all about (such as concentrating on the head -- doesn't do it for me, in fact I feel exactly the opposite).

Giving a good blow-job is accomplished the same way as giving any other good sexual act: learning what your partner likes the best.

Me personally? I like the combination of hand and mouth. And it's 5 times better when the woman likes what she's doing.

1/24/2006 3:58 PM  
Anonymous Alexander said...

Similar to points already raised.

But I'll repeat them anwyay.

(1) Eye contact. Be very dirty with that look. A woman just looking down and getting on with it intently,may feel good. But psychologically it's boring beyond belief for the man.

(2) Swallow. Or,don't backoff when I cum. For me,this is crucial. If there is one thing to completely destroy the whole thing, it's a woman flinching when I'm cumming, or showing that they don't enjoy swallowing. If a women screws her face up to protect her face, then what kind of message is that giving me? A woman who held it in her mouth and then spat it out, what message does that give me? Swallowing really shows you care and recieve. I once had a Girlfriend who would not swallow, and insisted on Condoms during regular Sex. That showed me everything I needed to know about our relationship as a whole. She didn't really want to recieve "me". Cumming inside your partner is so fulfilling for a guy. He feels you accept him and join with him. Receiving that gift, is crucial. It was a Berlin Wall between us.

(3) Don't just hope to get it over and done with. Some woman don't hide this rush, and it ruins the moment. We're prepared to be there a long time enjoying the BJ. Women may not be. But don't make that apparent.

1/29/2006 12:43 PM  
Blogger Miss Syl said...

anon1, anon2, chris, and alexander: thanks for sharing your tips.

I think both of us, men and women alike, like to know the other person's into it. Though personally, I don't care if the guy is looking up at me while he's giving me oral. I'm too overwhelmed, throwing my head back in pleasure to even notice...

Not sure about the non-condom, always swallow thing. I can understand why it is ultimate, and in a perfect world, I'm sure everyone would want to do both. But with all the scary STDs out there to consider, unless it's a monogamous relationship, I prefer to believe any partner choosing to use a condom/dental dam means they are concerned with protection, not rejection. And there's a lot of relief in knowing your partner wants to keep both of you safe and healthy.

Now, if it's a committed relationship, well, swallow away and condoms be damned!

2/06/2006 11:56 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

one of the most rewarding experiences is recieving head without asking for it. Having a woman go for you rather than just making suggestions or directly "begging" is a sign of her willingness. Swallowing is very appreciated, but men have to carry some responsibility for it. If you taste off, show that your willing to work on your diet.
If your lips or jaw are getting sore, don't hesitate to work with your tongue for a bit.

6/22/2006 11:35 PM  
Blogger howtogiveablowjob said...

Here ya go, a couple more tips about deep throating:

When you’re comfortable with deep throating, and your body has gotten used to relaxing its gag reflex, there are a few advanced techniques you can try that’ll get him hotter than an exhaust pipe after a three day road trip.

1) Contract your throat muscles while he’s inside you, massaging the head of his dick simultaneously.

2) While his dick is down there, swallow a few times- the sensation will make him reel.

3) Then, practice taking the head of his cock in and out of your throat- not bringing it right out of your mouth, of course, but just enough so that it’s penetrating and exiting the point of no return (where your gag reflex used to kick in.) He’ll go nuts!

Good work, you’re on your way.

The key things to remember when deep throating your man are: that practice makes perfect- no one did this flawlessly the first, second or even third time they tried- and that relaxing makes it much more comfortable for you.

Take deep breaths, go slowly, and visualize yourself feeling calm and centred as you perform the act. Some cocks will be too big to deep throat entirely, and others will be swallow-able in one gulp. Gauge your limits, be reasonable, and don’t push yourself too hard at first. You’re sure to improve quickly, and your man’s sure to love it!

Right from my article archive at www.bjtutorial.com

7/14/2006 1:59 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

My wife lets me cum in her mouth but won't swallow or deep throat. A let down that's difficult to overcum. I believe her love is real. she says swallowing may cum one day and who knows, deep throat too. Hope remains as we've been together twenty years and love is real. How fantasies/obsessions can generate frustration! C'est la vie!

10/30/2006 4:06 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

a blowjob is called a blowjob for a reason! BLOW ladies! Use your tongue lick the underside of his shaft from head to testicles, just so you get it wet, then blow on it gently; starting at the testicles and moving back up to the head. itll send shivers down his spine. Do the same with the testicles. A great way to get things heated up, is to cool him down in a sense. The opposition of his body heating up from being turned on compared to the cooling sensation of the blow will drive him wild!

1/13/2007 12:24 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Keep sucking and stroking while the guy is cumming. It's an unbelievable feeling.

11/14/2007 2:18 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Fan-frigging-tastic!! Your comments have helped out immensely!! I cannot wait til he gets home from work now... Thank you gentlemen, and lady for asking the much-needed question! He says the head I give is "perfect" (which is incredibly sweet) but I know it could be better.
One more point tho is the hot and cold technique, not many have touched on, it's a nice way to start out. Taking a sip of something hot (tea or coffee adds flavour I spose), putting him in your mouth, then taking a sip of cold water then playing with his head with your cold lips and tongue (putting the whole penis in will shock him!) and alternate. Blowjobs are so much fun, thanks again for all the tips.

11/15/2007 8:26 AM  
Anonymous truestory said...

From a guy who knows personally...

YES, there is such a thing a bad blowjob. In fact, I've had many. It's something that is learned and certainly does not come naturally to women. A man may never tell you, ladies, but you can physically hurt a guy if you don't know what you are doing.

Here are some things to avoid and to not avoid:
(they SHOULD be common sense, but oh well)

1. No biting. In fact, think of it this way. Does your pussy have sharp teeth? No it does not. It's soft. (there may be exceptions out there for guys who are into pain, but most guys will be pretty pissed if you use your teeth a lot during a blowjob)

2. Force and pulling and suction all feel great, but only in the right amounts. Don't try to yank your man's dick off and think it's feeling good for him.

3. Just like when you girls don't want us to stop doing what we're doing when something feels really amazing, the same goes for us. Vary things at first. But when everything really heats up, DON'T STOP what you are doing. Please.

4. Most importantly: care that the guy does feel good. Ask him questions and pay attention. A lot of people think men and women are really different. Shocker, we're not. We all want to be cared about, and we all want to know that our partner wants to make us feel amazing. If you don't care, don't do it. Seriously, no man or woman deserves to feel guilty or bad while receiving oral sex. Guys, don't do it to the person you're with. Girls, don't do it to the person you're with.

11/25/2007 10:57 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Thanks to these helpful tips, my guy is going crazy... I love watching him make funny noises and say " i just don't understand how your so amazing at this" (he doesn't know about my secret tips!) Anyways, sometimes i don't know weather to go fast or slow... usually i just change it up, but is there any way to tell what HE wants with out asking? And what does he want me to do when he puts his hands on the back of my head?

12/05/2007 2:40 AM  

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