Tuesday, March 07, 2006

Oh boys...may I experiment on you?

So recently, a friend of mine was raving about her favorite sex book, called 203 Ways to Drive a Man Wild in Bed by Olivia St. Claire. So I bought it, and read it. Now, not to brag or anything, but turns out most of the techniques the author describes in the book I've either already tried, or know about but am just not into. (I mean, maybe it's just me, but can banana purée in your vagina really be good for you? To me, just sounds like a petri dish waitin' to happen.) But there were a couple of entries in there I haven't tried and was wondering about; mostly because it seems to me that all three might be more uncomfortable or painful than fun. If any of you boys would like to try these out and weigh in on whether they're actually good or not, it'd really help a girl out.

So here goes:
Technique #118: Knead his penis between both your hands as though it were a piece of dough. (Syl says: That's all she wrote. Note this is NOT rolling it between your palms--that's a different entry.)

Technique #121: Make two rings with the thumb and index finger or each hand. Place them next to each other in the middle of his shaft. Gently pull outward in both directions at once.

Technique #150: Try using a strong mint-flavored mouthwash just before you get into bed. Your tangy tongue and mouth on his delicate penile skin will cause quite a sensation. (Syl says: to me, this sounds akin to eating chilis and then trying to give someone a blowjob--youch--but what do I know?)
Okay, boys--so is it cringe or quiver?

Afterthought: By the way, for those who are interested in a whole-book review, though I'm saying it didn't have a huge amount of new info for me, this *is* actually a good book. I can understand why my friend liked it. It's really the perfect little nightstand companion for women who have not had the opportunity or luck to have experienced a lot of sexual variety with their partners, or may have difficulty talking about sex or are intimidated to ask for suggestions from their lovers. It'd also be good (along with a companion volume on pleasing a woman, of course!) for any slightly more vanilla-tending hetero couple who want to make their sex lives a just little racier, without going into superfreak terrain.

The author understands women's worries and concerns about sex, and addresses them with an open, friendly, and encouraging style.
St. Claire never condescends to her (presumably) less-experienced audience, either. Instead, she presents her ideas both gently and with salacious descriptive enthusiasm in a way that is sure to get even the most intimidated women's loins all a tinglin'. She also gives women ego-boosting self-esteem and body-loving pep talks and techniques at the beginning of the book, which of course is a crucial factor in getting a woman to feel confident enough to be more wanton in bed (Hear that boys? Tell her she's hot all the time, especially when she's naked, if you want her to get hotter in bed!). Clearly St. Claire likes sex, and she likes the women she's talking to, and she likes men, and she wants all of us to have hotter, more passionate sex lives.

In terms of information provided: all the basic sex acts are included with detailed instructions, plus a number of non-threatening variations on each of these acts, and then a few techniques are thrown in for each that *just* verge on the freaky, but not so much so that the more timid types would get weirded out. Go Olivia.

Oh and ladies: If you're thinking, "I'd love to have that book, but I just couldn't put it on my bookshelf," no worries. The hardcover is actually designed so that if you take off the paper cover, the book front, back, and spine are entirely unmarked. To the undiscerning eye, it'd just look like a journal or an address book. Very discreet. Smart publishers.


Blogger Anastasia said...

I kind of stopped reading sex books when I got up to Miriam Stoppard's 'Magic of Sex', before that it was the standard Joy of Sex, then there were a couple of others, that I no longer have but yeah, I get to reading the 'tips' and think that I've tried most or some are so outlandish and generalise, when really, the best tip is to ask one's partner as to what they want to try or what they prefer.

Kneading a penis like it's dough, maybe if I was in a PMS-ing mood? lol

I copped more weird looks from store assistants when I'd buy de Sade books than any other book but there are times when I stroll into a bookstore that I have never before visited, looked for a particular subject only to find myself smack bang in the sex section and there'll be a person who'll stroll past with a strange facial expression and I think, 'oh yeah, okay...'

3/08/2006 12:12 AM  
Blogger Miss Syl said...


Three places a girl gets eyed funny when she's there alone (and trust me, I know):
1) In the sex aisle of the bookshop
2) In a sex shop, looking at the toys
3) In a comic book shop

And I laughed my ass off at the PMS thing. I think the next time I bake some bread, it'll be hard for me to keep my mind on things...but I mean really. Ouch.

3/08/2006 12:30 AM  
Blogger Anastasia said...

LOL I have fond memories of sex shops. In some shops here, it's the 'make no eye contact' type of thing, a bit like walking through an alley and not looking at the person walking past you except with an R rating for a sex shop.

In a suburb I worked at, the sex shop was right next door to a 7 Eleven convenience store and I'd make it a habit (after my first couple times in a sex shop) of eyeballing the guys that would be exiting the store just for the hell of it. It's terrible, I know, but I couldn't resist. These dudes would look at me strangely in the store.

3/08/2006 5:32 AM  
Blogger Miss Syl said...

Did you ever see the film "Ghostworld?" Where this young, hipster teenage girl convinces a reluctant older man to take her into a sex shop so she can look around, and the first thing she does is shout in this loud, delighted voice, "Wow, would you look at all the pervs in here!" and all the men fairly shrink into their coats.

As an aside, if you have seen it, I'm dying for one of those leather catwoman masks.

Yeah, general sex shop etiquitte is to play it cool, and let everyone have their space. But sometimes the less regular guys will try to mess with you if you're a woman in there alone. You know, the types that go in there to ogle and giggle and only WISH they knew some woman who'd actually use one of those toys with them. Someday I'll have to tell you the story of how I totally freaked out two of these types who thought they they could get all smartass with me when I was shopping.

3/08/2006 7:21 PM  
Blogger Anastasia said...

I haven't seen Ghostworld, when did it come out (DVD-wise)? But that is a classic, it's cringeworthy but yeah, enough to make me wet my pants laughing.

Leather is yummo! The stores I've been to though (perhaps it's the inner city burbs of Sydney and their high gay population, which isn't bad but means that a large number of stores in the inner west, or in Oxford Street here, cater more for gay men) didn't have much leather for women, but there are mad corsets which is a couple of suburbs away from where I live:

Can't wait for how you freaked them out.

3/09/2006 8:49 AM  
Blogger Miss Syl said...

Oh, just looked at the link. Those corsets are GORGEOUS. I've always wanted one like these. I'm totally going to have to order one. To go with my catwoman mask.

Here's a little link to a review about the film that shows Thora Birch in the catwoman mask. http://www.variety.com/review/VE1117798345?categoryid=31&cs=1&nid=2608. BTW, when that film came out, friends kept calling me and telling me they'd made a film about me. At one point, I kind of looked/acted a lot like Thora did in that film (same coloring, same body type and haircut, same dress style, same dry sense of sarcastic humor--but not quite as scathing).

But you should really check out the original comic, too (although the scene I described is only in the film). It's by the great Dan Clowes. More about him: http://www.fantagraphics.com/artist/clowes/clowes.html

3/09/2006 9:08 AM  
Anonymous Dr. Montelbaun said...

Actually, all 3 of those are great. I've had them all done. I'm pretty pain tolerant, though. So I may not be the norm.

The minty breath blowjob thing is the best. The cold/warm sensation on my cock is very nice. I highly reccomend it! :)

3/13/2006 1:45 PM  
Blogger Miss Syl said...

Dr. M: Thanks for the tips. So can you explain the "kneading" thing? How exactly does that work? I just can't even seem to visualize it.

3/13/2006 7:33 PM  
Blogger Romancing Simplicity said...

Smart publishers, indeed.

I'm going to have to try that second one. I've never done that before =)

4/02/2006 6:54 AM  
Blogger Miss Syl said...

Romancing Simplicity: Ooh, good. Please do report back and let me know if it was effective...

4/02/2006 10:01 AM  

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