Tuesday, March 28, 2006

Would You Fuck This Sandwich?

So based on the comments to yesterday's post, it looks like a lot of you out there are passionate about both food and sex. So, it's got me wondering if the two qualities are inextricably linked. Can you tell how good a lover someone is by their relationship to food? If someone is really fussy about their eating habits, does it mean fussiness in the bedroom? If someone is a food glutton, are they a sex addict?


My foodie personality:
  • I love all kinds of food, from basic to exotic.
  • I want dishes that are fresh, inventive, and well-prepared.
  • And yet occasionally, I need to have me some nasty, processed snack cake
  • I think all the fancy presentation in the world ain't worth a damn if it doesn't taste good.
  • I believe a spectacular meal means exquisiteness every step of the way. Don't create a beautiful entree but serve crap wine and forget the dessert. Go all out.
  • I'll try almost anything once. If I haven't tasted it yet, I want it in my mouth.
What does that say about me in bed? I'm gonna leave that to you to figure out. (Go on and speculate in comments if you want. Maybe I'll tell you if you're right.)

So, what's your foodie personality? Would you say it reflects you in the bedroom? Did/do your lovers' eating habits match their bedroom skills?

Should I run screaming if my date orders American cheese with mayo on untoasted white bread? Or does this say absolutely nothing about him?


Anonymous Tory said...

I dont think there is any correlation between what we like to eat and how we like to fuck. I would be more inclined to say there is a connection between what we eat and how we live.

3/28/2006 1:48 AM  
Blogger Anastasia said...

I used to believe in the correlation between food (in terms of wide food preferences) and sex (preference, interest, enthusiasm) until I ended up dating a guy who preferred bland foods (he couldn't stand tomatoes, he wouldn't eat frankfurters with the skin, they had to be skinless etc). This guy was basically a finicky eater so I was apprehensive, until it all got wild, we ended up in his room and out of the blue he blindfolded me (and this may sound gross to some) 'ate me' to the point of no return, among other 'acts'.

So yeah...

3/28/2006 7:34 AM  
Blogger Karl Elvis said...

I saw the title of this entry and though, "sandwich? Oh yes, miss syl, and... Mmmm..."

And then I realized you were only talking about food.

First, I don't even begin to get the connection between food and sex. It's like, I dunno, watching teevee while you're trying to listen to a symphony. Both things are great, or can be, but they detract from each other.

But I think you're drawing a more symbolic parallel. So to answer that.

I am the complete omnivore. I'll eat strange parts of animals if cooked appropriately (brain, tongue, intestines, feet, tail). I will eat bugs, I will try things that look completely unlike food if it's what's being served. This isn't to say I like any and all foods, but I'm willing to try absolutely anything. And I'll try it again to make sure it's done right if I didn't like it the first time. I hate to miss out on pleasure.

However, my tastes tend to run to simple things. I like meats prepared simply; my philosophy is that when you start with the best ingredients, your job as a cook is simply not to fuck them up. While I love cooking as an art and can savor the complexity and brilliant preparation of a joint like Napa Valley's French Laundry, my truest desires are for clean, simple things, like sashimi, beautifully cooked steak, perfectly roasted chicken. I love soups; it's hard to make anything that's more truly satisfying than a perfect bowl of pho or a perfect bowl of chicken soup, or a velvety cream of veggie soup made with home-made stock and whatever veg is in season right now.

However, my other great love is spice - food literally can't be too spicy for me. I put pepper on everything, only one person I've ever known uses black pepper like I do. I have a collection of chilis, ground, dry, canned. I collect spicy sauces. It's not about how hot though, it's about finding the right spice, the right heat, the perfect compliment of chili heat to food.

As a cook, I love the craft. I never cook for myself; I cook to show off my skills, to please, to generate and deliver pleasure. I love to cook with other people, because a cooking team in perfect sync is like a dance. I love cooking because it's a complete food experience, touching food, smelling it, seeing it as an ingredient and then as a finished whole. Tasting things as they change over time. Every sense is involved in cooking, listening to the sound of cold food hitting hot pan, the feel of a razory knife sliding through tender meat, the color and texture of fresh vegetables. The smell of meat, herbs, garlic, wine.

I love to show off my skill with knife and fire, basic, primitive things, and one of the few things at which I truly excel. Cut. Burn. Mark. Control.

What's all that say about me in the bedroom? Oh, nothing. Not a fucking thing.
[Pimp-Daddy:~] kmac%

3/28/2006 1:34 PM  
Blogger Miss Syl said...

Tory: "I would be more inclined to say there is a connection between what we eat and how we live." Care to elaborate?

Anastasia: I had one lover who was exceptionally good in bed who also couldn't stand tomatoes. I wonder if there's something to that? (Though, as I'm someone who loves tomatoes, I hope it doesn't apply to women...)

Karl Elvis: Yes, I'm sure that doesn't say anything at all about you. And the fact that I happened to need to grab a piece of paper and fan myself off right after your comment doesn't say anything about me, either. Ahem.

Other thoughts;
1. I've eaten bugs. Well, *a* bug, deep-fried cicada, to be specific.
2. Yes, all the flashy presentation in the world can't cover up for a lack of respect for the simplicity of the core ingredients underneath.
3. Sashiiiimiiiiii....mmmmmmmm......gimme now.
4. Soups and stews are *so* overlooked in terms of their sensuality
5. Spice: Good god, man. You and I would never be able to eat the same food. I've got weird taste receptors. I can happily eat all kinds of horseradish and get pleasure from it, but pepper-related heat, except for in the smallest of doses, is completely lost on me (except for black pepper). I'm highly sensitive to them--even smelling them makes my eyes and tongue burn. And if someone puts chilis in a pan without putting other food in first, it often has a mace effect for me and I can't breathe. I also can't taste anything if I eat high chili-flavored food. All I feel is pain--the flavor is completely gone. I have no idea what kind of pleasure or taste other people get from chilis, but whatever it is, I don't have it. (Interestingly, carbonation has the same effect same for me--it burns my tongue and throat, so I get absolutely no enjoyment from soda.)
6. Cooking is therapeutic for me. I find I'm happier cutting, chopping, mixing, blending--taking things and creating something new, delicous, and unexpected from them. I'm also pleased to serve it at the end, and like to see people get pleasure from it. But in general, I'm not really bothered if anyone watches me cook. Although if there was someone in particular who I wanted watching me in general, I think it could be pretty hot to have him watch me cook, if he was looking hungry while I did it. But it would be pretty hot to have him watch me do anything hungrily, really.
7. Re food and sex being separate things: Wasn't there something on Seinfeld where George had his ultimate sex and it involved being able to eat a hot pastrami sandwich while getting it on? But yeah, I've never really gotten the whole 9 1/2 weeks obsession with food in the bedroom. I mean, I can see how it's erotic, but honestly, I'm just as happy to lick, suck, and bite my man without any chocolate sauce on him. Natural taste and scent is so much better.

3/28/2006 2:44 PM  
Anonymous sista.s. said...

I have never met a person who could not enjoy food, but could truly enjoy sex in this very sensual sense. Well, I love cooking as much as touching, caressing & kissing and I love eating as much as fucking. I could not fancy a person who would eat anything and that without true or awake consciousness. When I cook, I select the ingredients, I smell them, I choose the spices, I touch it, I cut it, I feel it, I mix it, I shake it, I heat it. Cooking is a very sensual thing. When I eat, I take my time to move each bite from one corner of my mouth to the other, I roll it against my taste buds, I try different combinations, I talk about it, I express my pleasure and I take the best out of it. I do the same with sex. I donĀ“t like the quick starters, nor the unconscious user or abuser. I like the one who savors the moment just like me. Whether eating or fucking. Watch a man how he eats and you will be able to tell whether he is able to enjoy a good thing or not......

3/28/2006 3:46 PM  
Anonymous Tory said...

Partly because of my mother loving chaos in her life. I have choosen to live as simple as possible. Growing up I was a picky eater to say the least. As I got older i learned to push my comfort zone and try new foods. My mom would just say "I am glad to see your taste buds are changing." My taste buds never changed, I simply learned to open my mind and was willing to see what everything had to offer. Same with my life, I grew up with horrible trust issues and i just stayed in my safe area.

As one changed the other changed also. I am still a simple guy. I dont have any debt, i am blunt and honest, i own 1 credit card, no cell phone, and i buy everything cash. I dont have time for games and bullshit. I am not out chasing a bunch of material possessions. The core of my life is simple and it keeps everything stable. My first 20 yrs were complete chaos. in and out of jail, drinking, drug use and ridiculious bullshit.

With food I like simple meals. steak and potatoes. beef stew. I can appreciate more exotic foods like sushi and animal organs. I am willing to try almost anything but I tend to best enjoy the simple pleasures. Give me something BBQ with some steamed veggies and some sort of bread. I am good all day everyday with that.

Simplicity is so underated. I keep things simple in my life and on my plate but I am also able to try new things. But thats just me.

3/28/2006 3:52 PM  
Anonymous Hiromi said...

I don't think there's a correlation, but being around someone who's not into food is kind of depressing, like being around someone who doesn't read. As for being around someone who's lousy in bed - I wouldn't be. Life is too short.

3/28/2006 7:16 PM  
Anonymous Cherrie said...

Fuck a crappy vending machine sandwich? Hell, no!

Seafood? Italian? Thai? Greek? A Brazilian churrascaria? Now you're talking.

But how are appetites for food and sex related?

I've read the comments so far, and I come out closest to sista.s. I think it's not the individual's preference for any particular cuisine, but his/her interest in the craft of preparing or appreciating food that may open a window into his/her sexual compatibility.

Someone who takes the time to learn how to cook, how to arrange a table, how to select a wine is also likely to have taken the time to learn how to please a sexual partner. Each activity is an art that the practiced and patient are more likely to master. If you prefer someone who knows what to do and when to do it, the fastidious preparer/diner may be best for you, both at dinner and thereafter.

That doesn't mean someone with a less-developed palate won't turn out to be a great lover. It's dangerous to generalize. But I think the odds are better with someone who appreciates the finer things.

Syl, the guy who wants cheese and mayo on white bread isn't for you. You want the guy (or girl) who can order off the menu in a French restaurant or a sushi bar with equal aplomb, and then hold your interest in conversation until you lead him (or he leads you) to the boudoir.

3/28/2006 10:51 PM  
Blogger Miss Syl said...

Sista S.: Whew! Fan me off again! I think it would be hard for any man not to immediately drag you off to the bedroom if your writing is any reflection of how you must look cooking/eating!

Tory: Thanks for getting back. It's interesting,though, that you came to appreciate your simplicity model after extreme complexity. Somehow I feel that is a more valid choice than people who chose simplicity all along and never expanded their taste range. So while you choose to stay simple in food and in bed, you have the knowledge and abililty to shake it up a bit if you want to. What I think is sad is people who have never even given themselves the experiences to allow themselves to make an informed choice. Know what I mean?

Hiromi: A partner who doesn't like food, doesn't read, and is bad in bed--sounds like a punishment from the deepest level of hell.

I wonder if it's worse to have no sex or a person who's kind of crap at it, if those were your only two choices...

Cherrie: Yep, that's what I want. Know anyone who fits the bill? ;-) It isn't easy to find those people, romantically or otherrwise, especially those who fulfill the "hold your interest in conversation" requirement at least not where I live.

I think you may be right: It's not the types of foods they like to eat, but the enthusiasm for the act in general. Though, it always seems to me enthusiasm for cooking and enthusiasm for sex tend to skew toward being at least slightly more adventurous. The guy/woman who wants a cold cheese sandwich on white every night isn't thinking about what fine wine would match the meal, or how to dress the table appropriately, probably...though how kinky would *that* person be if he or she were!

3/29/2006 9:13 AM  
Anonymous Kochanie said...

Excellent discussion, Miss Syl. So interesting to learn about your readers from their comments here. (I continue to have visions of karl elvis in his survival kilt, equipped with the finest cutlery.)

A connection between sex and food? The question is whether one is connected to one's senses. If one is attuned to the sensory world, then food, sex, and nature itself will provide you with wondrous gifts in the form of taste, touch, smell, etc.

However, if unconnected from one's senses through illness or injury, the act of eating is mechanical. Individuals suffering from depression will often note a lessening of the senses of smell and taste, as if suffering from a constant cold. The effect of depression on sex has already been well-documented.

Unfortunately, many of us learn to ignore our senses out of necessity: a lunch hastily eaten at a desk or a cellophane-wrapped sandwich and bottled water on a delayed flight to your next business destination. For those who work more than one job to keep the debt collectors at bay, the idea of a home-cooked meal is the stuff of dreams.

It's about time we added good food and good sex to the Bill of Rights.

3/29/2006 10:18 AM  
Anonymous Hiromi said...

Miss Syl sed: "I wonder if it's worse to have no sex or a person who's kind of crap at it, if those were your only two choices..."

Having sex with a person with crap sex skills has one advantage: if that person is compatible with you personality-wise, then you have a companion.

Thing is, mere compatibility = good friend, not spouse or lover. IMO.

3/29/2006 1:30 PM  
Blogger Miss Syl said...

Kochanie: Very true. And particularly in the US, which has one of the lowest percentages of leisure time in the world. These stats make me feel exhausted. People rarely have time to savor anything anymore. It's a cryin' shame.

Hiromi: True enough. But dammit, a good sex is hard to find. (With apologies to Flannery O'Connor.)

3/29/2006 8:25 PM  
Anonymous Cherrie said...

Syl, I could lend you one of mine. But then what would I do?

Table for three, maitre 'd!

3/30/2006 12:25 AM  
Anonymous Tory said...

sex is like pizza. Even when its bad its good. But that only works for guys.

Miss Syl, i never said my bedroom activities were simple. Just my life. I am not sure if i get the freaks or what but sex is always intresting. I think life is way to short not to try new things.

3/30/2006 1:09 AM  
Blogger Miss Syl said...

Cherrie: Thanks for the offer. :-)

Tory: Heh heh. I actually have had bad pizza, that to me was just nothing but bad. But I guess that just makes me a girl, not a guy, eh?

The other thing I keep thinking is I only *really* like big, deep, thick Sicilian pizza. Does this say something about me?

3/30/2006 10:04 AM  
Anonymous Tory said...

Syl, That does say something. If you tried different pizzas and you are you still drawn back to that one type then you know what you like. The problem sounds like what you really like isnt always what is best for you. Sometimes you have to go for that happy medium if what you really want and what is best for you.

Then again you said you keep "thinking" thats what you really like. maybe you shoudnt think so much.

3/31/2006 3:32 AM  
Blogger Miss Syl said...

Tory-ador: Ha! You gave me my good laugh for the day. Thanks. You are, by the way, the second person to tell me today I think too much. I begin to feel abnormal if I don't get one of those at least once a day.

I don't think medium is ever happy. *That's* probably what the problem is.

3/31/2006 10:55 PM  

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