Is This Really Kosher?
Gummy-candy teeth guards to use as blow job aids? I can't decide if this would actually feel good or painful to a guy. I'd imagine you'd have to lick them and get them wet first, or wouldn't they kind of pull the skin in a not nice way? Or would it be worse wet?Imagine running a gummy bear on your skin, with a little pressure. Nice? Not nice? What do you think?
And it also says it's good for cunnilingus and I can't sort out how it would help that along at all. People don't tend to bite a woman accidentally during this act, so far as I know.
..but I just love how after they tell you all kinds of dirty things you can do with this candy, they add the afterthought, "It is also certified kosher." Cracked me up. ("I'll put a penis in my mouth any day, but non-kosher blowjob candy...no WAY.")
posted by Miss Syl at 5:15 PM
5 Comments:
So does it make things sticky?
I can't figure it out. The ad says it's "smooth, soft, slippery," but i have my doubts. I think one of us is just going to have to buy one and test it out...
Sounds like a damn mess to me. I don't want someone going down on me with a mouthful of lifesavers. What's so bad about oral sex anyway? If it tastes so bad that you need to be snacking in the meantime, maybe you should immediately hit the showers (before or during)
Personally, if someone broke out the fake candy teeth for the purposes of a blowjob, I'd probably be laughing too hard. Just picturing a lover with a big clown red mouth guard is making me giggle a bit. Seems like if we're going that far, she might as well go the whole nine yards and wear protective headgear too.
Anyway, I'd love to hear how it works out, but don't say I didn't warn you.
--Dante
Ahaha, Dante, you gave me the best laugh of my day with that post. "Big clown red mouth guard." Priceless.
Nice to have you back. Hope work hasn't been too overwhelming.
I can see how it would help cunnilingus. That's what I was searching for...a mouthpiece that would help. After a while, the underbelly of my tongue hurts from the pressure against my lower teeth, which are sharp, and therefore inhibit too much pressure. With this on, I could press the flat top of my tongue down harder on her.
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