Wednesday, March 08, 2006

"It happens sometimes. People just explode."

So what's with this random weirdness?

Tonight, I asked this guy in Whole Foods if they had any fresh coconut and he insisted on accompanying me to where they were and then he insisted on showing me (actually using one of their coconuts) how to poke it in its soft spot and suck out the juice. I mean, he did this all in front of me, and drank from the coconut and everything. Drained it dry. And then he slammed it on the floor in a very manly way to show me how you could crack it open without a cleaver. And then he gave me a different coconut and wrote "free" on it's sticker with a magic marker and told me I didn't have to pay for it. Two coconuts totally lost from the profit margin.

And then also, about a week ago, I was leaving a Spanish restaurant and my waiter came running up and gave me a bottle of imported olive oil. Just randomly.

Do you think there's something strange conspiracy going on here? Why are men in the service industry giving me fat-laden food products?

And if it's gonna be a trend, I seriously need to consider going somewhere where I can score some free paté or something even pricier.

(No, it's not about sex, but you know, might as well share my latest musing. And it *is* about food, and this *is* a Sexeteria.)

7 Comments:

Blogger Anastasia said...

A new form of machismo?

I had an odd thing occur yesterday. I left my wallet in the post office on my lunch hour, when I finished work I nearly freaked out (that's when I realised) and I raced out of my building, and to the next block to get it. Anyway, the person working there told me to call the guy who handed it over and for some weird reason I thought it odd. Now I'm still staring at the phone number thinking, 'ooh gee ?'
It was a great gesture, definitely, but it's the first time I came across that. Usually people hand things in (on the rare occasion they do) and that's it, no numbers to call. Talk about a guilt trip. Lay one on me mate! I thought.

3/08/2006 5:35 AM  
Blogger Anastasia said...

oooooooh, about the olive oil?

One of my former 'lurves' used to discuss sexual alternatives. Olive oil, in his opinion (cos he tried it), was ideal and 'better' as a lubricant than KY (I don't know about this, I've never tried either one of them).

You reckon the olive oil is a sign?

3/08/2006 5:37 AM  
Blogger Karl Elvis said...

Classic courting rituals. They present offerings of food for your favor. B^)

3/08/2006 11:35 AM  
Blogger Miss Syl said...

Karl Elvis: Hm, maybe. But if so, they're offering me the entirely wrong thing to feast on.

3/08/2006 7:30 PM  
Blogger Miss Syl said...

Ana: Karl thinks it's a sign. Maybe they just think I look hungry. I've had olive oil used on me for massages, and it was very nice, but I've never really had reason to use it for a lubricant, so I wouldn't know about that.

I say call the guy. If nothing else, good fodder for a story on your blog. Maybe he saw your photo ID and is now in love with you. I would be.

3/08/2006 7:30 PM  
Blogger Anastasia said...

Ooh I don't know about calling. I thought I'd leave it a couple of days, because the Post Office sent a letter anyway, and yeah, Monday.

On the subject of food though, you know what I find odd: when you're out with a signficant (or soon to be significant other) and you offer them a forkful of food only for them to decline it, and yet, they don't have any qualms about sticking their tongue in your mouth. I've done the food offering thing, and on one occasion the person was, 'oh no thanks' and I was (in my head) 'I'm trying to seduce you, you dickhead!'


and the food didn't have lactose, peanuts or seafood in it (the three most common allergy triggers)

3/10/2006 8:33 AM  
Blogger Miss Syl said...

Ana:

...and the food didn't have lactose, peanuts or seafood in it (the three most common allergy triggers)

I'm not sure why, but that last line at the end had me giggling for five minutes straight. Nurse Anastasia suddenly popped up there.

Yes, sharing food...I was mentioning that to someone recently, how I was out to dinner with a man I was highly attracted to and wasn't sure which signals he was giving out, and then he grabbed my hand and ate some food right off my chopsticks, and I thought, well, that's that settled, then.

Feeding someone (who is capable of feeding him/herself) can be very erotic. Sort of like Karl Elvis was saying--offering food in exchange for your favor/pleasure. If the person rejects your offer, it can feel like more than just a rejection of the food, sometimes (depending on how the offer was made).

Figleaf has a really good series about food and sex archived on his blog, by the way. Worth checking out. It's here.

3/10/2006 1:56 PM  

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