Sunday, February 19, 2006

Torture and Humiliation

Want to really punish me? Make me go into a store and have to do this:

Miss Syl (to CD shop hipster): I'm sorry, can you please tell me where I can find Barry Manilow CDs? I can't find where they are.

RSH (pretending she isn't laughing at me when clearly she is): Oh, sure! Do you want his latest CD?

Miss Syl: Uh, yeah.

RSH: Well, you can get it from the Barry that's standing right behind you.

Miss Syl (turning around to find a life-sized Barry Manilow cut out with an indentation inside his body to hold the CDs): Thanks.

RSH: No problem.

Then, while she watched me, I had to reach into Barry's crotch area and grab a CD.

I feel dirty.


Anonymous Mike M. said...

You really are a dirty girl. Reaching for a Barry Manilow CD would make me do a full-body heave.

You'd better take stock in some heavy-dut disinfectant. Or some tomato juice. Because that Barry Manilow stench will hang around you forever!

2/19/2006 10:38 PM  
Blogger Miss Syl said...

I'm sorry, what was that? I couldn't hear you over "Daybreak."

I *swear* I was strongarmed by love into buying this for someone.

Although it does have a kinda retro kitschness that, if you were ballsy enough to withstand the social ostracization, would almost be cool.

Oh my God, I'm being indoctrinated...Save me!

2/19/2006 10:57 PM  
Blogger Karl Elvis said...

Only the fact that you said 'crotch' makes this all ok.

2/20/2006 1:14 AM  
Blogger Miss Syl said...

Karl: Any time I need to combine "crotch" and "Manilow" in my mind for any length of time is very, very NOT okay.

2/20/2006 4:14 PM  

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