Saturday, April 22, 2006

Miss Freelove '69

I've always meant to do one of these "100 facts about me" thingies to link to my "about me" section and now, given that my mind has been so restless that it's not allowing me to write anything heavier, and Hiromi's post yesterday reminding me, well, now seemed as good a time as any. But I'm too tired to do 100 right now, so a more apt number for a sex blogger instead...

Sixty-nine facts about me:

1. I’m a book junkie. If you were to walk into my home, you’d be hard pressed to say which I have more of at this point: books or sense. (Certainly, though, if I had any financial sense I wouldn’t have bought all those books.)

2. Some favorite authors: Don Delillo, Dostoyevski, Jane Austen, James Joyce, Irvine Welsh, early Tom Robbins, Margaret Atwood, Francesa Lia Block, Roddy Doyle

3. I also like graphic novelists/cartoonists. Some of my favorites: Daniel Clowes, Adrien Tomine, Neil Gaiman, Jessica Abel, Andrew Martin & Jaime Hewlett, and Art Spiegelman.

4. When I feel like things in my life (or my home) are getting too messy or too out of control, the first thing I do is cut my nails. I have no idea why.

5. I have the world’s greatest bed, and the best bedding in the universe. And no, you can’t have proof of this unless you earn it…and that is no easy task.

6. I’ve had a drag queen straddle me, press my face into her false bosom, and sing Prince’s “Sexy Motherfucker” to me in front of a live audience.

7. I am also a film junkie. I tend toward indie films, but not exclusively. It’s almost impossible to pick favorites but here are a few I never tire of: Trust (Hal Hartlely), Magnolia, Withnail and I, Harold and Maude, When the Cat’s Away (Chacun cherche son chat), Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind, Head, just about everything Jim Jarmusch has ever made (until Coffee and Cigarettes), a bunch of early stuff by Mike Leigh and John Waters, Rock ‘n’ Roll High School (the original with the Ramones), London Kills Me, Hedwig and the Angry Inch.

8. At a show of his I was at, Iggy Pop once randomly stopped singing in the middle of a song and said, “Hey, how ya doin’?” to me and waited for me to answer before he started up again.

9. I like my wit like I like my vodka martinis: dry, dirty, and with a whole hell of a lot of olives.

10. There is no predictable rule for who I'll find sexy. In general, the more I like what you've got going on inside, the hotter I'll find you on the outside. Brains, quick wit, passion, a good heart, and a slightly mad-genius glint in the eye beat out stereotypical magazine good looks with none of the above every time. A tiny little dash of well-directed sarcasm and/or irony never hurt, either.

11. So, obviously, I would date Gene Wilder as Willy Wonka in a heartbeat. Assuming he wasn’t fictional.

12. I also have a thing for cool geek boys with glasses.

13. I could read books by the time I was four. Before that, I used to memorize the content on each page of my books and then recite it back exactly page by page, so people thought I was reading when I was much younger.

14. Before I could read, I thought “elemeno” was a letter of the alphabet. You know, sing it: H, I, J, K, Elemeno, P.

15. I also thought that in that old TV show Wild Kingdom the host’s name (Marlin Perkins) was “Mutual of Omaha,” because the voiceover always said “It's Mutual of Omaha’s Wild Kingdom,” and immediately Marlin Perkins came on the screen.

16. And, when they started saying “safe for the ozone layer” in deodorant commercials, I thought “the ozone layer” was that animated, pulsing layer of stank lining your underarm that they always showed the aerosol bottle spraying into oblivion.

17. For years I was terrified to drive through graveyards at night because of a scene I saw in the movie version of Fiddler on the Roof.

18. I read Salem’s Lot as a teenager and still have trouble keeping the shades up at night as a result.

19. I’ve run into three people from the original “Real World” series; one of whom seemed to have been really traumatized by the experience.

20. My secret shame: I love lame '80s and '90s teen flicks. I can quote just about every line from Sixteen Candles and The Sure Thing.

21. I am at least partially responsible for helping a now relatively famous comedian-turned-actor get his start at a nationally-recognized level.

22. At one point, I used to believe that long-term passion was not critical to (or even possible in) a mature, very long-term relationship, as long as continual, comfortable affection and respect was there. I now think that’s bullshit. And I also think it is possible to have all three.

23. I’m reasonably relaxed about misspellings over IM and email, but for some reason can not STAND how many people seem to be unable to spell “definitely” (Defanitely?!?!? Argh!), or who don’t know the difference between “loose” and “lose.”

24. This one never used to get to me, but now somehow it now makes me insane when people misuse “literally.” No, your head wasn’t going to literally explode, though if you say “literally” one more time, I’m going to wish it had. And it isn’t necessary for you to literally want to slap me for my snide attitude about your incorrect usage of "literally." Just want to slap me, period.

25. If it’s really true that when you have sex with someone, you are having sex with anyone he or she has ever had sex with, then I have had sex with Sinead O’Connor.

26. I have only one sibling, but a very large extended family.

27. I can’t stand really perfume-y flowers, or really flowery perfume. If I wear a scent at all (and I rarely do), I only like things that smell subtly spicy (vanilla, cinnamon/clove) or really fresh and clean (cucumber, grass, linen).

28. I see no need for a man to wear cologne, but I simply can not get into him if he doesn’t smell right to me. And that includes his saliva odor, not just his body odor. I've got a sensitive nose, and if I'm going to be smelling him on me all day after a good session, I want to enjoy what I'm smelling. On the other hand, if I really like your smell, I'm done for. You can pretty much make me your sex slave.

29. I have lived in seven states and one other country, and have traveled to 11 other countries outside of the US (not counting a one-hour transportation switch in Brussels), and visited a huge number of US states--but never Hawaii or Alaska, both of which I'd like to see.

30. My toes are really flexible. I can pick stuff up with my feet.

31. I actually like the sound of bagpipes.

32. I can sing the entire score of just about any successful Broadway musical from the 1940s-1970s, making me the perfect gay man’s companion to the theatre.

33. I like hard liquor better than I like wine or beer. I also would rather have single malt scotch or a martini over a frou-frou girlie umbrella drink. Alcohol and fruit don’t mix, as far as I’m concerned. The girliest I usually get is vanilla vodka on the rocks.

34. If you’re the entirely shy or silent type during sex, we’re not going to get along.

35. Of all the animals lovers have compared me to, the most frequent one is a cat.

36. The next places on the top of my travel list are Iceland, New Zealand, Japan, the Czech Republic, and pretty much all of Central and South America.

37. I have a goal to have set foot at least once on every continent except Antarctica before I die.

38. I spoke to Maya Angelou on the phone once. She was genuinely as nice as she appears to be only pretending to be in the media. I wanted to hug her in two minutes.

39. Most embarrassing concert confession: Chicago (dragged by friends), followed closely by Flock of Seagulls (an opening band for another, cooler band I really wanted to see).

40. I’m often more attracted to the sidekick than the leading man in films.

41. I’m a good cook, and can make all kinds of dishes, from fancy to plain, but in terms of my simple best: I make some wickedly good Indian food, amazing omelettes, and a kick-ass lemon cheesecake.

42. But it’s my guacamole that has made grown men fall to their knees and beg for more.

43. Oh and for all you MOTs (Members of the Tribe) out there, my mother’s noodle kugel (and now mine) will kick your mother or grandmother’s noodle kugel’s ASS. Don’t challenge me on this one. Others have and have been humiliated.

44. My name is on the acknowledgements page of several books.

45. I’ve listened to the Howard Stern show for over a decade and a half. Everyone I mention this to seems to be entirely shocked by this.

46. My all-time favorite children’s book growing up was Miss Twiggley’s Tree, a story told in rhyme about an eccentric recluse who lived in a tree house and was snubbed by the townspeople for her nonconformity until she saved all their asses in a flood. (No, it wasn’t strangely prescient. Ahem.)

47. I think of all TV couples ever, the most exemplary model of a functional marriage was that of Gomez and Morticia Addams.

48. I’ve actually been called "Morticia" as a nickname (see #52). Which is cool with me, because she’s been one of my role models since I was a kid (along with the Julie Newmar version of Catwoman). On the non-fictional front, I also admire Mae West (read up on her, she was amazing), and work every day to achieve Maevanna.

49. If I could be any female literary character, it would be Molly Bloom. (Or, on a slightly less literary bent, Death from the Sandman series.)

50. Fictional film/book character I’ve been compared to most by friends: Enid from Ghostworld.

51. TV character I think seemed most like me growing up: Lindsey from Freaks and Geeks.

52. I wear black far, far more than the average person, and have been doing so since I was a teenager.

53. I played piano from grade school through high school and then haven’t played it since.

54. As an adult, I’ve experienced what it’s like to be both small- and large-breasted (due to natural means, not surgery). And ladies, neither is better than the other.

55. I’ve always thought Santa was an asshole in Rudolph the Red Nosed Reindeer, and I could never understand why everyone wanted to work for him so badly. I thought Hermey had the right idea. But then I've always been a squeaky cog in the corporate machinery.

56. Though I'd read the book and been fine, I was so terrified of the animated Grinch the first time I saw The Grinch Who Stole Christmas on TV at age six that I never watched the cartoon again until I was 22 years old. And that old NBC retro Christmas special intro jingle they put on before the cartoons every year still gives me the creeps when I hear it.

57. Chocolate is my heroin.

58. Joey Ramone stood next to me at a bar once. I was too intimidated to say anything to him.

59. My voice has been recorded for radio and video.

60. Unusual things I’ve eaten: frog, alligator, snake, buffalo, chicken’s feet/heart/neck/gizzard, sweet breads, uni (not so unusual these days), emu, ostrich, some kind of animal testicle (I’m not sure which, it was in a country where the translation wasn’t clear, although the testicle part was made quite clear), cicada, squab, venison, various kinds of liver, haggis, snails, shad roe.

61. I liked all of the above better than I like green peas, the only vegetable I find repulsive.

62. I also don’t like beef. Not for any health or polticial reasons. I just don’t like the taste or texture of it.

63. I’m also a music junkie. Some favorite bands (though the list could go on forever): Bright Eyes, Radiohead, Pixies, Blur, Ride, Stone Roses, Suede, Jesus and Mary Chain, My Bloody Valentine, lots of other britpop, Ramones, Sigur Ros, Clash, Magnetic Fields, NY Dolls, Tom Waits, The Beatles, Patti Smith, Spiritualized, Luna

64. I’ve lived in a convent, though I was never even close to Catholic, and most of my housemates were male.

65. I’ve worked in a castle. It was less glamorous than it sounds.

66. Beatles ranked by preference, from most favorite to least: John, George, Ringo, Paul. Some days lately Ringo and George switch around.

67. Songs that always cheer me up: “She’s Got a New Spell” and “Sexuality” by Billy Bragg, “She’s Tight” and “Surrender” by Cheap Trick, and “Starfish and Coffee” by Prince.

68. The only song I’d be willing to sing karaoke to: “Papa Was a Rodeo” by the Magnetic Fields.

69. Song I’m most ashamed to admit I like: “Who’s Your Daddy?” by Toby Keith. (Yeah, the man’s a stupid, reactionary, right-wing asshole. But damn, does he have the whole unapologetic, come-hither, honky-tonk, alpha-male, mating call croon down. I can’t help myself. And hell, it’s just a damn catchy tune…stop looking at me! Okay, fine, fine…kill me now.)


Blogger Romancing Simplicity said...

What was the other country you lived in?

Whew, sorry my email was so long. My fingers are tired from typing it all!

4/22/2006 12:39 PM  
Blogger Karl Elvis said...

It started out one afternoon, hot sake in my living room
Among some special friends.
Soon some others dropped around and we all started gaffing down, well,
You know how these things end

4/22/2006 3:38 PM  
Blogger Miss Syl said...

RS: A country where I was able to regularly (and often in concert) indulge my love of bagpipe music, single malt, and lusty men in kilts.

Karl Elvis: Oh, um, didn't see you standing there...

(Recovering myself quickly) Ahem. Yes. I can't take you anywhere... Etc.

4/22/2006 7:45 PM  
Blogger AlwaysArousedGirl said...

Ohhhh there are so many people I would do, providing that they were NOT fictional.


Loved your list, Miss Syl. Sorry to have missed you the other night.

4/22/2006 11:25 PM  
Blogger Miss Syl said...

AAG: Yeah, it's that damn fictionality that gets you every time...

4/23/2006 2:53 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Regarding “elemeno” as a letter of the alphabet, They Might Be Giants has a nifty song on that very topic on their CD "Here Come The ABCs".

4/23/2006 6:12 AM  
Blogger Miss Syl said...

Anonymous: Oh, cool! I didn't know that, but anything that aligns my brain with John's and John's is an honor.

4/23/2006 7:43 PM  

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