Forever in Memes

Money talks, people, but it don't sing and dance, and it don't blog.

I have been TAGGED, like a desperate elk on Mutual of Omaha's Wild Kingdom, tackled and trapped via helicopter leap by the insane Jim Fowler (click on the roll-over that says, "Are You Insane?"), most likely while Marlin Perkins sat on his lazy ass back at the lodge, drinking hot chocolate.

In this modern-day scenario, however, spcknght is Jim Fowler. And HE can tackle me in the snow any day (oooh er, missus!).

I thought I was gonna get away from this one, folks, I really did. I was sneaky. I deliberately didn' t leave a comment on Hiromi's blog the day she did it and tagged "...every motherfucker who reads this. Mwaaahahahahahahaha!" I just looked the other way and whistled innocently...nope, I didn' t see nothin'. And I overcame my persistent guilt by employing convenient semantic logic to rationalize..."Well, um, technically, I have never fucked my mother. So..."

But no, the NEIL DIAMOND MEME has found me anyway and wrapped itself around me like a sparkly, open collar 70's shirt and way-too-tight black knit trousers.

I know this week has been nothing but lists about me. And though I know I'm just sooo fascinating to all of you (ahem), I don't blame you if you feel it's a little much all in a row like this. But the truth of the matter is, I love memes and stupid personality quizzes. I love reading other people's. I love doing my own. No, it's not deep. It's not important. But it's fun. And I sure haven't had a lot of that lately, so I'll do whatever I get even small enjoyment from, thank you very much. Think it doesn't count as "real" blogging? Well, to quote a certain wise and eloquent man, "Bite me." (Those who do so in a very sexy way, though, get brownie points.) I'll get back to the real blogging soon enough.

So, y'know, "cracklin' reader, get on board," and all of that...

I AM: More than I probably appear to be on this blog. (And also: currently trying to write a description of what a "good kiss" is and getting all hot and bothered by it, yet still thinking it's not nearly good enough to post.)
I SAID: “No pillow!”
I WANT: The above quote to mean the more interesting thing you probably began imagining it meant, rather than what it actually did mean.
I WISH: That all the people I wish I could hang out with weren’t all living so far away from me.
I HATE: Liars and poseurs and blowhards, oh my.
I MISS: Feeling like I and my life are cool and interesting.
I FEAR: I won’t get to feel like that again.
I HEAR: Birds (especially one very insistent mourning dove). Airplanes in the distance. A car driving past. Clicking of the keyboard. Wind blowing through a tree. Farther in the distance: lapping water (though that may only be my imagination).
I WONDER: Where I’ll end up. And what the origin of the expression “all that and a bag of chips” is.
I REGRET: That I’m probably boring you to death with this meme.
I AM NOT: a pushover.
I DANCE: really well, so I’m told--and not nearly enough lately.
I SING: Loudly in the car by myself to stuff on my iPod or the radio. Softly to myself when I dance.
I CRY: More than I ever imagined I would the older I get, at things I never imagined I’d cry at…like sappy TV commercials or deliberately emotionally-manipulative movies. Grrrr, hate that. But I still don’t cry at Lifetime TV shows! Kill me if that starts happening!
I AM NOT ALWAYS: As strong as I appear to be.
I MADE: Myself go to yoga class yesterday.
I WRITE: Every. Fucking. Minute. Of. The. Day. (Or at least it feels like that sometimes.)
I CONFUSE: Other people’s needs (and sometimes interests) with mine.
I NEED: A patron so I never have to worry about money and can just focus on doing the writing I want to do. Or a sugar daddy. Or a generous old lady who likes my blog and leaves me all her money and her fabulous city brownstone in her will.
I SHOULD: Get out of bed.
I START: To imagine staying in bed all day instead.
I FINISH: This slightly dull attempt at a meme.
I TAG: YOU (and let me know you did it so I can go read it).

Disclaimer: Mind you now, I said I loved memes, but that doesn't mean I want to get tagged every day of the week. Too much of a good thing and all of that. Be gentle and sparing, you lot. There are plenty of others who you can share the wealth with, too.